How to Fix the silent pain eating you 🎯

Hey man,

Picture this...

It’s Saturday night...

You’re in your living room...

Scrolling your phone on Instagram...

Seinfeld reruns are on... But you’re not watching.

Your high school and college friends?

Gone. 

Scattered across the country...

Lost in their own lives.

Work friends? Sure, you grab a beer sometimes...

But it’s all small talk... No one’s baring their soul…

…and taking off their true mask.

You feel it, don’t you?

That quiet ache...

Like you’re stranded on some island... Even in a crowd. 😔

The Quit Pain

Loneliness... The silent struggle most men face... But nobody talks about.

It’s not just you...

It’s an epidemic. A large number of men feel disconnected... And that number’s climbing.

In fact... long episodes of loneliness can damage well-being and health. [1]

As we age... Our circles shrink. 

Pickup hoops?

Late-night talks?

That 2 a.m. crew?

They... fade.

Life piles on...

Wives... kids... mortgages... deadlines... They take over.

And then it hits...

You’re carrying it all... alone. 😥

Why Society Screws You

Here’s the thing...

Society doesn’t help.

Men?

We’re told to tough it out. 

Vulnerability?

That’s weakness. 

Needing connection?

“Not masculine.”

So we bottle it up... Pretending we’re lone wolves.

But here’s the truth... Humans aren’t built for that.

We’re pack animals. We thrive in tribes.

Without them... We wither.

Loneliness doesn’t just mess with your mind... It hurts your body. 

Chronic isolation... Spikes cortisol... Tanks your immune system... And jacks up your heart disease risk. [2][3]

It’s kinda like the same... as smoking 15 cigarettes a day... According to researchers. [4] 😷

A Quick Story You Can Relate To.

Our good friend Jim... 42, Costco manager, married, two kids... Looks like he’s got it all.

But one night, over a few Rum & Cokes... He cracked.

“I feel invisible,” he said. “I work... come home... play dad... But I got no one to really talk to. Not like before.”

Jim wasn’t depressed... He was just... alone. And he didn’t know how to fix it. 😢

Sound familiar?

That void... You’ve felt it too, haven’t you?

Stick with me tho... There’s a way out.

You don’t have to stay stranded... You can build a bridge...

No… actually … a whole U.S. Navy fleet of ships... for real, raw connection with other men. 🌉

Why We Drift Apart

Let’s break this down...

Men? We’re wired for camaraderie.

But REAL life? It throws curveballs.

Your 20s? Connection was easy... School... sports... bars... chasing girls... etc.

But 30s... 40s? Life happens.

Friends move. Jobs demand. Family takes over.

And let’s be real... Making friends as an adult? Feels awkward AND weird. You can’t just hit up a gym bro...

And say, “Wanna hang out?”

Society’s got us guarded. 😣

Then there’s the stigma...

Men? We hide our struggles. Stoic. Self-reliant.

Admitting loneliness? Feels like defeat.

So we don’t. We drown in work... Netflix... Or too many Corona beers.

But that’s a Band-Aid... On a broken leg.

The cure? Community. 

Raw, no-BS connection... With men who get it. 🤝

The Fix: Building Your Tribe

Good news... You can rebuild your circle.

Not overnight... But it’s simpler than you think.

Small... intentional steps... To find or bridge male-focused communities.

Here’s the playbook:

1. Join a Men’s Group They’re everywhere... Online... in-person. Safe spaces for real talk. No judgment. No masks. Hit up Meetup.com... Or The ManKind Project. Built for men to connect... share... grow. One dude said it was like... “Breathing after years of holding my breath.” 🌟
   
   

2. Lean Into Hobbies What fires you up? Cars? Music? Board games? Find a club. Passion glues people together. No group nearby? Start one. Post on X... Facebook: “Any guys into car restoration? Let’s meet.” You’ll be shocked who shows. Shared vibes break the ice. 🎨
   
   

3. Volunteer Bonds form over shared goals. Coach kids’ soccer... Hit up a food bank... Join your American Red Cross volunteer program. You’ll meet guys with your values... Purpose sparks real talk. 🙌
   
   

4. Be the Initiator Tough... but game-changing. Text an old friend. Grab coffee with a coworker. Host poker night. Most guys crave connection... But they wait for someone else to lead. Be that guy. Vulnerability? It’s courage. 💪
   
   

5. Go Online (Strategically) Online communities? Goldmines if you choose right. Forums... Discord... Men’s health or growth groups on Reddit... X. Don’t just look—engage. Share your story... ask... tell. Digital hangouts can turn into real-world connection. 🌐
   
   

6. Pro Tip Consistency is king. Show up regular... Weekly hikes... monthly book clubs. Bonds grow through repetition. Listen more... talk less. Ask questions. Let others open up. That’s how trust builds. 💬

Why This Matters

A tribe isn’t just less loneliness... 😊 It’s becoming a better man.

With guys in your corner... You’re accountable to. Eat better... Hit the gym... Stress less.

Someone’s there when life feels heavy... Or when things are great.

Community makes you stronger... Sharper... Happier. 🌟

Your Next Step Today

You don’t have to stay stranded brother... 😔 Your tribe starts today.

We got your back.

At Men’s Health Secrets... It’s not just nutrition... fitness...

It’s real connection. Men lifting men.

Your move: Find a local men’s group... go to one meeting this month.

Action step: Hit Meetup.com... Or, look for local church men’s groups nearby.

Commit to one meeting.

It might feel weird at first... But that’s the spark... For real bonds.

Need more help?

Then check out today's book recommendation...

"How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships" by Leil Lowndes. 🚀

(Trick #5… How to talk to the “inner infant” is my favorite.)

So... you don't have to feel alone anymore...

With some initial effort... you can build something real... together.... with your tribe of men. 🤝

To your unbreakable brotherhood,

Men’s Health Secrets
–Live Past 100

Live Strong. Live Connected.

P.S. Loneliness thrives in silence... 💪 Break it today... Find a men’s group... show up— You got nothing to lose... all upside. 🌟

P.P.S. This is the final email in our series... on the 7 secret pains men experience... Next email, we’ll tie it all together... And drop the REAL secret... To a long, healthy, fulfilling life... Maxing out your mental & emotional health... And ... it’s not what you think... 😉🔍

P.P.P.S. IMPORTANT: This newsletter... Is for EDU-TAINMENT only... Not medical... or legal advice. Consult a pro... Before starting health plans. 🩺💼⚖️

P.P.P.P.S. >>> Subscribe to our Men’s Health Secrets YouTube Channel... Drop a comment... Level up your health game... live stronger. 🎥💬💡

Medical References

[1] Huxhold O, Henning G. The Risks of Experiencing Severe Loneliness Across Middle and Late Adulthood. J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci. 2023 Oct 9;78(10):1668-1675. https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbad099. PMID: 37431978; PMCID: PMC10561886.

[2] Montoliu T, Hidalgo V, Salvador A. The relationship between loneliness and cognition in healthy older men and women: The role of cortisol. Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2019 Sep;107:270-279. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2019.05.024. Epub 2019 May 24. PMID: 31271924.

[3] Van Bogart K, Engeland CG, Sliwinski MJ, Harrington KD, Knight EL, Zhaoyang R, Scott SB and Graham-Engeland JE (2022) The Association Between Loneliness and Inflammation: Findings From an Older Adult Sample. Front. Behav. Neurosci. 15:801746. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnbeh.2021.801746.

[4] Holt-Lunstad, J., et al. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. PLoS Medicine. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316