WARNING: You're not allowed to feel THIS as a Man... 😔💪

Hey man!

In our last email, we dove into the pain of losing your sense of identity and purpose.

Today, we take on another secret pain...

that plagues many men: The Burden of Stoicism.

You see...

Society has conditioned men to suppress their emotions, to "man up" and never show weakness [1].

But this emotional repression comes at a heavy cost.

It leads to... COMPARTMENTALIZING.

It's a fancy word for being good at hiding & dealing with stuff later...

in your mind.

It leads to bottled-up stress, anxiety, and depression.

Meet Roberto, a 42-year-old real estate investor who seemed to have it all together on the surface.

He was successful, driven, and always the life of the party. 🎉 

But beneath his charismatic exterior, Roberto was drowning in a sea of pain. 😢

His wife, the love of his life, had shattered his heart into a million pieces... when she confessed to her infidelity.

I’ll say it for you…

SHE’S A COLD-HEARTED BITCH. 💋

The betrayal cut deeper than any knife ever could...

leaving Roberto reeling with a mixture of…

rage…

hatred…

and utter disbelief.

How could the woman he had built a life with, the mother of his child, betray him so cruelly? 💔

The divorce was messy, a brutal battle that left Roberto... emotionally and financially drained.

And now, he found himself navigating the unfamiliar waters of single fatherhood...

sharing custody of his teenage son and "like clockwork"...

paying child support each month.

It was a constant reminder of his perceived failure as a husband and father. 💸

Roberto felt isolated.

He was unable to share his vulnerabilities with anyone for fear of appearing weak.

He suffered in silence, putting on a brave face for the world while his heart crumbled inside. 😞 

The pain was all-consuming, a heavy weight that pressed down on his chest, making it hard to breathe.

He longed for someone to understand...

to offer a glimmer of hope in the darkness, but he couldn't bring himself to reach out.

After all, real men don't cry, right? 🥺

One day, after a tough deal didn't pan out...

Roberto found himself on the brink of a breakdown.

He couldn't take it anymore.

The pressure to "man up" was suffocating him, and he knew he needed help. 🆘 

With trembling hands, he picked up the phone and made the hardest call of his life—to a therapist.

It was a moment of pure vulnerability, a crack in the armor he had so carefully constructed. 📞

That's when Roberto made a life-changing decision.

He started seeing a therapist regularly and began journaling his emotions.

At first, it felt weird and uncomfortable, like he was learning to speak Japanese.

But slowly, he began to feel a weight lifting off his shoulders. 📝 

Each session, each page filled with his deepest fears and hopes, brought him closer to healing.

It was a journey of self-discovery...

of learning to embrace his emotions rather than suppressing them [2][11].

If you're struggling with the burden of stoicism...

know that you're not alone.

Here are 3 simple tools you can use to start feeling like a ... NEW ... man again:

1. Write one honest sentence about your feelings daily. It can be as simple as "I feel overwhelmed today." This small act of acknowledging your emotions can be incredibly liberating. ✍️

2. Try a 5-minute mindfulness exercise. Close your eyes... focus on your breath... and allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up without judgment. This practice can help you become more comfortable with your feelings. 🧘‍♂️ Give SOMA breath a try.

3. Start attending a local church, synagogue, mosque, or Buddhist temple. Surrounding yourself with a supportive community... can give you the invisible superpowers of healing "stuck pain." Psychologists call it... "integrated spiritual therapy"[5][6][7][8][9][10]🙏

For a deeper dive into the power of vulnerability and emotional healing...

check out today's book recommendation:

"The Science of Intentional Transformation: Be Your Future Self Now" by Dr. Benjamin Hardy.

This groundbreaking book...

explores how embracing your emotions and envisioning your ideal future self...

can lead to profound personal growth and transformation.

By aligning your actions with your desired identity...

you can break free from the handcuffs of what the world... expects of you as a man...

... and live a life true to your AUTHENTIC SELF.

Remember, vulnerability is not a weakness. It's a sign of true strength and courage [3][12].

By embracing your emotions and seeking support when you need it...

you're setting yourself up for a happier, healthier life. 💪

To your emotional well-being,

Mens Health Secrets
–Live Past 100

P.S. If you're looking for a convenient way to practice mindfulness and manage stress... consider downloading the CALM app. It's a powerful tool for many men on their journey to emotional wellness. 📱

P.P.S. >>> Go here to subscribe to our Mens Health Secrets YouTube Channel if you haven't yet…. leave a comment… and level up your Mens Health knowledge to live longer.

P.P.P.S. Tomorrow, we confront the regrets that keep you up at night. 🌙 Stay tuned for our next email, where we'll explore how to make peace with the past and embrace the present. [4]

P.P.P.P.S. Always consult your doctor before starting any new protocol or treatment, including our tips. This is for edu-tainment only, not medical advice. 🩺 [4]

Medical References:

[1] McKenzie SK, Collings S, Jenkin G, River J. Masculinity, Social Connectedness, and Mental Health: Men's Diverse Patterns of Practice. Am J Mens Health. 2018 Sep;12(5):1247-1261. https://doi.org/10.1177/1557988318772732. Epub 2018 Apr 28. PMID: 29708008; PMCID: PMC6142169.

[2] Wong, Y. J., Ho, M. H. R., Wang, S. Y., & Miller, I. S. (2017). Meta-analyses of the relationship between conformity to masculine norms and mental health-related outcomes. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 64(1), 80–93. https://doi.org/10.1037/cou0000176

[3] Oliffe JL. Connecting Masculinities to Men's Illness Vulnerabilities and Resilience. Qual Health Res. 2023 Dec;33(14):1322-1332. https://doi.org/10.1177/10497323231198967. Epub 2023 Oct 30. PMID: 37902085; PMCID: PMC10666520.

[4] Griffith, D.M., Bruce, M.A., & Thorpe, Jr., R.J. (Eds.). (2019). Men’s Health Equity: A Handbook (1st ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315167428

[5] National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2016, December 21). The mental health benefits of religion & spirituality. https://www.nami.org/faith-community-leader/the-mental-health-benefits-of-religion-spirituality/

[6] Feder, S. (2020, November 13). Religious faith can lead to positive mental benefits, writes Stanford anthropologist. Stanford Report. https://news.stanford.edu/stories/2020/11/deep-faith-beneficial-health

[7] Ramírez Jiménez MS, Serra Desfilis E. Does Christian Spirituality Enhance Psychological Interventions on Forgiveness, Gratitude, and the Meaning of Life? A Quasi-Experimental Intervention with the Elderly and Youth. Nurs Rep. 2020 Dec 17;10(2):182-206. https://doi.org/10.3390/nursrep10020022. PMID: 34968363; PMCID: PMC8608047.

[8] Briggs P. Buddhist Philosophy and Mental Health: Lessons for the 21st Century. BJPsych Open. 2022 Jun 20;8(Suppl 1):S18. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjo.2022.113. PMCID: PMC9378036.

[9] Che Wan Mohd Rozali WNA, Ishak I, Mat Ludin AF, Ibrahim FW, Abd Warif NM, Che Roos NA. The Impact of Listening to, Reciting, or Memorizing the Quran on Physical and Mental Health of Muslims: Evidence From Systematic Review. Int J Public Health. 2022 Aug 31;67:1604998. https://doi.org/10.3389/ijph.2022.1604998. PMID: 36119448; PMCID: PMC9470760.

[10] Levin J, Bradshaw M, Johnson BR. Association between Jewish religious observance and mental health among Israeli adults: Findings from the Global Flourishing Study. Int J Psychiatry Med. 2025 May;60(3):338-355. https://doi.org/10.1177/00912174241296230. Epub 2024 Oct 24. PMID: 39447578.

[11] Mokhwelepa LW, Sumbane GO. Men's Mental Health Matters: The Impact of Traditional Masculinity Norms on Men's Willingness to Seek Mental Health Support; a Systematic Review of Literature. Am J Mens Health. 2025 May-Jun;19(3):15579883251321670. https://doi.org/10.1177/15579883251321670. Epub 2025 May 27. PMID: 40421591; PMCID: PMC12117241.

[12] Thomas P. Health is wisely sharing vulnerability. London J Prim Care (Abingdon). 2016 Jun 19;8(3):33-34. https://doi.org/10.1080/17571472.2016.1193590. PMID: 28250828; PMCID: PMC5330328.