What Is Pair Bonding & Why You Should Care 🧪💏

Hey brother,

In the last email, we exposed the dark side of...

"friends with benefits"...

And how your brain chemicals want you to...

"wife her up"...

Even if logically you want to keep things casual. [1]

Scary, right?

Well, buckle up...

Because today we dive deep into the science of pair bonding.

Pair bonding is the strong emotional attachment...

That happens when two people have sex. [2]

It's like a biochemical Superglue...

That fuses you together with your sexual partner.

Creating feelings of trust, connection and dependency. [1][5][6][7][8][9]

In the animal kingdom, pair bonding evolved to ensure that...

Couples stuck together long enough to raise their young. 👪

Increasing the chances of survival for the next generation. 🧬

But for humans in the modern masculine-feminine world?

Pair bonding can be a major obstacle...

To maintain your freedom and keep your options open. 🔓

Why?

Because thanks to a cocktail of chemicals released during sex...

Your brain gets hooked on that person like a drug. 💉

Making you crave their presence...

You become jealous...

when she talks to other guys...

And sometimes... you feel depressed when you're apart. 😞

It's like a mind virus that hijacks your emotions...

And makes you act completely out of character. 🧟‍♂️

So what exactly are these chemicals?

And how do they influence your thoughts and behaviors?

Here are the main players in the pair bonding process:

1. Oxytocin (the "cuddle hormone") - promotes feelings of trust and attachment. 🤗
   
   

2. Vasopressin (the "monogamy molecule") - encourages loyalty and protective instincts. 💍
   
   

3. Dopamine (the "reward chemical") - creates a sense of euphoria and addiction. 🎉
   
   

4. Serotonin (the "happy hormone") - induces feelings of bliss and happiness. 😊 [10][11][12][13][14][15][16]
   
   

5. Endorphins (the "natural painkillers") - there's about 20 different types... and produce feelings of pleasure... and can even mask emotional pain. 🩹 [3][17][18][19]
   

We'll dive deeper into each of these chemicals in the next emails.

But for now, just know that they work together like the Avengers super heroes.

To form a powerful bond between you and your partner.

One that can be almost impossible to break.

So if you've ever experienced oneitis (an unhealthy romantic obsession with one person)...

Simped (sucked up or did favors for a woman hoping to have sex) over a girl you barely know...

Or struggled to let go of an ex...

Pair bonding is likely the reason. [4]

The good news?

By understanding the science behind this process...

You can hack your OWN biochemistry...

And take back control of your emotions and sex life. [1]

That's what this email series is all about. 🧪

Giving you the tools and knowledge to navigate the Circus of modern male-female brain chemistry...

in a healthy way...

for guys over 40…

And without getting your heart blown to bits. 💥

So stay tuned for the next email... cuz we’re just getting started.

We'll explore your body's natural "love drugs" in more detail.

And reveal how to use them to your advantage. 😉

Until then,

Mens Health Secrets
–Live Past 100

P.S. In the next email, we'll take a closer look at the "big 5" pair bonding chemicals... and how they influence your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. [4] Trust me, you won't want to miss this. 👀

P.P.S. Do your own research and consult with your doc before making any big health changes. I'm just some guy on the internet, not your physician, got it? 😅

P.P.P.S. Don't forget to smash the subscribe button and turn on notifications for the Mens Health Secrets YouTube channel. You'll get exclusive health tips and interviews I only share with my subscribers. Just click here >>> and join the tribe. 🦍

Medical References:

[1] Magon, N., & Kalra, S. (2011). The orgasmic history of oxytocin: Love, lust, and labor. Indian journal of endocrinology and metabolism, 15 Suppl 3(Suppl3), S156–S161. https://doi.org/10.4103/2230-8210.84851 

[2] Coria-Avila, G. A., Manzo, J., Garcia, L. I., Carrillo, P., Miquel, M., & Pfaus, J. G. (2014). Neurobiology of social attachments. Neuroscience and biobehavioral reviews, 43, 173–182. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2014.04.004 

[3] Cleveland Clinic. (2022, May 19). Endorphins. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/23040-endorphins

[4] Ortigue, S., Bianchi-Demicheli, F., Patel, N., Frum, C., & Lewis, J. W. (2010). Neuroimaging of love: fMRI meta-analysis evidence toward new perspectives in sexual medicine. The journal of sexual medicine, 7(11), 3541–3552. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.01999.x

[5] Bales KL, Ardekani CS, Baxter A, Karaskiewicz CL, Kuske JX, Lau AR, Savidge LE, Sayler KR, Witczak LR. What is a pair bond? Horm Behav. 2021 Nov;136:105062. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.yhbeh.2021.105062. Epub 2021 Sep 30. PMID: 34601430.

[6] Blumenthal SA, Young LJ. The Neurobiology of Love and Pair Bonding from Human and Animal Perspectives. Biology (Basel). 2023 Jun 12;12(6):844. https://doi.org/10.3390/biology12060844. PMID: 37372130; PMCID: PMC10295201.

[7] Young LJ, Wang Z. The neurobiology of pair bonding. Nat Neurosci. 2004 Oct;7(10):1048-54. https://doi.org/10.1038/nn1327. PMID: 15452576.

[8] Young LJ. The Neural Basis of Pair Bonding in a Monogamous Species: A Model for Understanding the Biological Basis of Human Behavior. In: National Research Council (US) Panel for the Workshop on the Biodemography of Fertility and Family Behavior; Wachter KW, Bulatao RA, editors. Offspring: Human Fertility Behavior in Biodemographic Perspective. Washington (DC): National Academies Press (US); 2003. 4. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK97287/

[9] Walum H, Young LJ. The neural mechanisms and circuitry of the pair bond. Nat Rev Neurosci. 2018 Nov;19(11):643-654. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41583-018-0072-6. PMID: 30301953; PMCID: PMC6283620.

[10] Bamalan OA, Moore MJ, Al Khalili Y. Physiology, Serotonin. [Updated 2023 Jul 30]. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2025 Jan-. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK545168/

[11] Bamalan OA, Moore MJ, Al Khalili Y. Physiology, Serotonin. 2023 Jul 30. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2025 Jan–. PMID: 31424752. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31424752/

[12] Bakshi A, Tadi P. Biochemistry, Serotonin. 2022 Oct 5. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2025 Jan–. PMID: 32809691. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32809691/

[13] Bakshi A, Tadi P. Biochemistry, Serotonin. [Updated 2022 Oct 5]. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2025 Jan-. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK560856/

[14] Jones LA, Sun EW, Martin AM, Keating DJ. The ever-changing roles of serotonin. Int J Biochem Cell Biol. 2020 Aug;125:105776. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biocel.2020.105776. Epub 2020 May 29. PMID: 32479926.

[15] Ligneul R, Mainen ZF. Serotonin. Curr Biol. 2023 Dec 4;33(23):R1216-R1221. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cub.2023.09.068. PMID: 38052167.

[16] Mohammad-Zadeh LF, Moses L, Gwaltney-Brant SM. Serotonin: a review. J Vet Pharmacol Ther. 2008 Jun;31(3):187-99. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2885.2008.00944.x. PMID: 18471139.

[17] Harvard Health Publishing. (2025). Endorphins: The brain’s natural pain reliever. https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/endorphins-the-brains-natural-pain-reliever

[18] Chaudhry SR, Gossman W. Biochemistry, Endorphin. [Updated 2023 Apr 3]. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2025 Jan-. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK470306/

[19] Grossman A, Sutton JR. Endorphins: what are they? How are they measured? What is their role in exercise? Med Sci Sports Exerc. 1985 Feb;17(1):74-81. PMID: 2858810. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2858810/